What would be harder - 2 banks or 2 husbands?

Having a bank relationship has remarkable similarities to being married. Like marriage, your bank relationship starts with some courting - business owners might have even played the field a little! But in the end a business and the bank will fall in love and decide to "settle down and start a family".

Like a marriage, your bank relationship needs plenty of ongoing maintenance work. It needs constant communication on what each is thinking and doing, the odd piece of jewelery, a nice dinner out, and perhaps the occasional trip to the footy. It also often relies on compromise to ensure harmonious continuance.

Now what would happen in your marriage at home if you were to introduce a second husband or wife into the mix?

Even if your wife allowed the new partnership to commence (mine wouldn't, though to be fair I haven't ever asked) then I would imagine that keeping the new 3 way partnership afloat would be extremely difficult, not to mention expensive to set up (2 weddings instead of one).

Each wife would be continually looking over your shoulder at the other wondering if they are missing out on something. Each would be wanting you to spend time with them, nurturing and caring for them. They'd each expect a degree of equality when it came to their share of assets and income and no doubt each would require their time in the bedroom with you.....sounds exhausting to me!

So why would you consider it in the first place?

There are a few drivers that make the concept look attractive and need consideration:

The key positive is the introduction of competition. Theoretically you would expect each of your wives to always be contesting to win your sole attention and to oust the other from the awkward trio. In banking parlance you'd translate this as cheaper fees and charges, but also better overall relationship experience. However I expect that overtime, as the wives became more complacent what you'd find the competition element subsiding, or even worse, the wives might start to conspire against you and collude and these advantages might start to dwindle.

This would be especially true if, tired from attending to everyone's needs constantly, you start to let slide on your maintenance work for both of them!

Another possible advantage in the multiple wife/bank strategy is that if a wife leaves you, at least you still have one partner to keep you company and to support your needs. The GFC has taught us that banks pulling out of markets, changing risk appetite and even as seen OS going bust, are real risks for businesses.

The negatives are fairly obvious:
1) You have to deal with 2 spouses - don't underestimate how annoying this will be when we're talking about having 2 banks!
2) No one wife has a view of the whole picture. This will cause difficulty if you need a special favour as you might find yourself in a position where neither wife has sufficient comfort to help, worrying that the extra effort might put them at a disadvantage next to the other wife. Just to clarify from a bank perspective I am thinking of instances where you need emergency funding increases and neither bank is willing to step beyond their own limits for fear of taking on a disproportionate share of the risk.
3) There is high chance that one wife will become jealous of what the other wife has, and start to become hard work. We have a client that is experiencing this now (with their multiple banks that is). One bank has more than enough security and the other is a bit skinny. The skinny one is being a pest now as credit don't want to carry disproportionate probability of loss given default if the business falls over (which it is not showing any signs of doing - the bank is just being paranoid!)

Now its worth mentioning that large corporates have multiple banks and perhaps medium sized corporates would love to look and smell like these big boys, but I think we need to think of them as exotic wealthy sultans with their Harems. If you can afford a team who will manage the wives for you on a full time basis, showering them in gifts and ensuring that there is plenty of wealth to go around, then perhaps there is an argument to say that the multi bank thing might just work. If you can't afford this level of support then you might just collapse of exhaustion trying.

I, for one, have enough difficulty keeping one wife happy, and I am sure that this would translate to my bank relationship too so I would think carefully before rushing in to introduce a second bank. It might just be more trouble than its worth!