1. You have been with your bank for 100 years but annual rate reviews only ever seem to go up, not down, and they hold so much security that if you went under they’d even take possession of your Mother-in-law….
2. Your bank manager is the fifth this year and you suspect that as they actually get younger every time, by the end of the year its possible your manager then won’t be eligible for a drivers license yet….
3. Your bank has taken 6 months to approve a temporary overdraft increase that you needed 2 months ago but with the condition attached that you pledge the total earnings of your first born child….
4. You ask your bank to release your personal guarantee and they disappear under the desk and return with a fake moustache and glasses and insist that they only speak French….
5. You are continually having to justify your existence, reporting monthly on number of toilet visits and requesting permission to spend $2 on buying your top client a 50c ice cream at McDonalds…
6. You tell the bank that you need more working capital and you come away with a lower loan limit, not more….
7. You have the opportunity to invest in a magnificent growth opportunity but when you check your bank account the bank has decided to use your savings to pay down your loan, and the they ain’t giving it back….
8. Your bank refuses to allow you to hedge your foreign currency exposure and then slaps you with a large stick when you lose money because the US$ went up and book FX losses….
9. You need to employ a finance manager simply to be able to meet the bank reporting requirements…
10. The only time you see you bank manager is at the football, when they are there clearly hosting a table of other customers ….
If any of these resonate with you, why not have a look at our Bank Management Services - we might be able to help
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